A shrewed Jolt of Necessity

When I was in the sixth grade I found myself as my class’ representative in the school spelling bee. This is particularly amusing today given my “Let’s see, I before E except after C unless, ah screw it, CMD-:” tendencies.

Anyhow, I clearly remember my final word in the competition because it was the one I flamed out on. It was because of this mistake that my goals of fame and glory of 1st place were replaced with a lowly 3rd place finish. Now admittedly, this was a long time ago, but I seem to recall it happening like this…

Judge: “You’re word is ’shrewd.’ ”
Me: “Err, can you use that word in a sentence?”
Judge: “You’re an idiot if you can’t spell shrewd.”
Me: “Yeah, um, can you spell that for me?”
Judge: *Condescending stare that only an elementary school spelling bee judge can give*
Me: “Right. Um, well. S H R E W…”
Judge: *Checks watch*
Me: “Uh… E D. SHREWED!”
Judge: *DING*
Crowd: *Groan*

As I slowly walked back to my folding chair on the school stage I thought, “You know, I’ll bet winning is a lot more fun than misspelling a freaking six letter word.”

A few years later I got a sweet taste of 1st place victory when I won the Fort Necessity photo contest in the Kids division. That division stuff is important because I was the oldest possible age to enter in that division. Therefore it doesn’t seem all that bad the girl that came in second was three years old and the third place guy was six.

(So what if they were a lot little younger. You gotta take it strong to the hoop or stay at home yo.)

As it turns out, years later I discovered that the fort I took a picture of was actually a replica built in the 70s as a tourist trap. I assume the government did it so that parents wanting to take vacations and instill “history” in their kids would stop and pay the entrance fee. In that regard it worked in spades.

By now I’ll bet you’re wondering where all this is leading. It is just my convoluted way in saying that today is a 1st place day rather than a 3rd place day. This is because last night at SD West TestTrack won the Jolt Award.

And we didn’t even have to pick on little kids or take pictures of a fake fort to do it.